End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
did you just send me my own nude
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
