I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
