I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
PANTIES FOUND
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