I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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