She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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