The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Terrible idea I love it
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
