16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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