I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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