ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
