i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
