I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize