they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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