Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize