some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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