Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
