none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
