he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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