Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
