Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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