like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
