absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
