she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
