He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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