ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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