im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
