So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
