Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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