I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
