i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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