you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
