your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
