I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
