that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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