I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize