and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize