I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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