I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just gift wrapped bread.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
