She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
