What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
