dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
