6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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