She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
