You're a womanizer and a bitch.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
