i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
