you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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