who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
