He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
