It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
