That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize