fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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