I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
