summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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