i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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