perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
