And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
