i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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