apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
