tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
