so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
