wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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