We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
