Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
