a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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