where am i from again
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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