I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
