There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
