If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize