So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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